I See You

I have always felt that I had a connection with animals. As a kid, I remember seeing birds, squirrels, and stray cats and trying to catch their eye. When they looked at me, no matter how far away, I’d whisper, “I see you.” I love looking at trees full of leaves and seeing that one leaf in the midst of all the foliage dancing in an unfelt breeze.

It has always been my mission to see those things that are ignored, overlooked, and invisible to the masses.

I need them to know that I see them.

It happens with people, too. The broken, the hurting, the disfigured, the different ones. I see them. I look them in the eye, give them a smile or a greeting. I’ve always done that.

In middle school, after seeing her, Betty would yell through the halls, “Jill, I love you!” She would run at me and hug me in the middle of the hallway. We were a spectacle. Everyone would laugh at her and at me. They would look at me with confusion in their eyes, they didn’t understand. To be honest, at the time, I didn’t understand either. Why would I bring that ridicule on myself? But I just couldn’t ignore her or reject her words and gestures of love.

After years of therapy, I’m sure my compulsion is directly connected to my childhood of being surrounded by prejudiced and extremely critical adults. I felt unwanted, unseen and misunderstood. The feeling I had toward those adults is best summed up in a line from a Bonnie Raitt song, “I can’t make you love me if you don’t.”

There’s a statement that Jesus makes in the book of Revelation when He speaks to the seven churches, “To him who overcomes… I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.”

I read this verse bringing all my history to it, and I hear Him say, “I’ll give you a new name that only you and I understand because it totally sums who you are. I can name you because I completely love you, and know you and understand you – I see you.”

God sees me. He sees you, too. I can’t wait for that white stone.