Running Behind

So now I’m toward the end of week 2 of Lent and I just now feel like I’m getting my feet under the whole fasting food thing. Week 1 was just not happening for me.

I allowed challenges and schedules and people get in the way. I didn’t make it a priority. I suppose I just didn’t know how.

And now, in week 2, I should be fasting control. Do I keep trying to fast to make up for last week? Do I stop fasting food and focus on fasting control?

Fasting food has been a challenge because if I plan to fast at a particular time, people suddenly need me, my schedule gets interrupted by surprises and to stop those people and surprises seems wrong.

How do I tell a friend who is going through a difficult time and invites me to dinner that I can’t go because I’m fasting and being holy? Doesn’t that seem rather Pharisaical? How do I tell a grandchild that I can’t have a snack with them because I’m supposed to be praying and fasting? Would Jesus push the little ones away?

I know I can find solutions to these problems: fast at a different time or day. But I get hung up on doing it correctly and completely.

To be in control and perform it perfectly I suppose I’d have to be alone in the wilderness like Jesus was.

As I think about it, fasting and participating in Lent is not about being in control or performing it perfectly. Being in control and performing seem like the opposite of what I should be learning.

So, here I am, incapable of being perfect and definitely not in control. Maybe this is what Lent is all about: realizing what a mess I am and how much I need a Savior.

And yet, I keep going.

Peace to all my fellow messes out there.